Tag: Elisabeth Staab

My lesson in “$h**t happens.”

By Elisabeth Author AdviceGeneral July 31, 2011 2 comments

So I’m still pretty behind the ball these days, but I wanted to take a moment to stress a point that was stressed to me before I got my first writing contract: prepare as much as you possibly can, because once you have deadlines, sh**t WILL go wrong to keep you from meeting them.

All the seasoned writers who gave me that warning? You folks were right. Boy, were you ever.

Because even though people told me–lots of people–I didn’t quite grasp it. So here’s the deal. KING of DARKNESS comes out in mass-market paperback in February and I am super-mega thrilled, but there’s been a lot of hurry up and wait in the process. All the way back in January of 2011 I signed the contract with Sourcebooks, and it wasn’t until…I want to say late May that I finally had a lovely talk with my editor (Deb Werksman, who I just LOVE) and she told me very nicely that she felt I needed to re-conceptualize a fairly juicy chunk of the novel. Ideally, in about 3 weeks.

Yikes.

But, “Okay, no sweat,” I said. It seemed tight, but doable. I am the at-home parent to 3 kids, but those kids were in preschool part-time, and hubby would help if he could on the weekends. We had a sitter who came a few hours a week. So we’d work it out. Well, then our air conditioning died, so for a week I got nothing done because it was too hot to stay in the house, and the kids couldn’t sleep. Then, the preschool was closed for a school holiday. The babysitter got food poisoning, so there went my childcare help during the weekdays for awhile. Hubby had some work issues that ate up the weekends. Ugh! Oh, yeah, and I was rear-ended by a Lexus SUV while driving my friend’s Honda Civic and then sitting to type was painful due to getting banged up in the fender-bender. I mean–seriously?? If it could go wrong in those three weeks, it did.

But I did make my deadline. Not easily, and not without losing a lot of sleep. Not without swallowing a lot of ibuprofen. But I searched every nook and cranny I could for people who could help me watch the kids, and when my babysitter was back on her feet after my manuscript was in, I paid her to come watch my kids so I could SLEEP. I thanked my lucky stars that Amazon delivered coffee straight to my door. A LOT of coffee.

And I prayed that I could still deliver a good book, despite all the insanity.

So what else could I have done, in retrospect? I would have lined up some backup babysitters, for one thing. Maybe asked the preschool if they had any extra enrollment days once I knew what the deadline was going to be. There might not have been much, but there *were* things in retrospect that I could have done to be more proactive. Ah. Well.

So…planning, folks. It’ll save ya a lot of anguish.

I’ll know for next time. Though God willing it’s not another car accident. Or the central air.

Please.

Sex Has a Formula?! by Marsha A. Moore

By Elisabeth Guest Blogs June 28, 2011 2 comments


This was originally posted by Marsha A. Moore at Ravencraft’s Romance Realm and my inner geek loved it so much I asked her if I could please re-post it, here. Thanks, Marsha!!

Sex Has a Formula? By Marsha A. Moore

In one workshop I attended, the instructor presented a helpful progression for structuring a sex scene. I found it useful and often refer to my notes while writing, if there isn’t some primary storyline already establishing the pace of the intimate scene.

Given you have a couple, person A and person B (gender doesn’t matter):

1)      Aggression from A
2)      Submission or pushback from B
3)      Elevated aggression or softening A
4)      Escalating physical contact between A & B
5)      Pull back/ fear/ uncertainty from either A or B
6)      Reassurance supplied by A or B (opposite from #5)
7)      Physical interaction
8)      Increasingly intense physical interaction/ both are lost to the physical sensations
9)      Completion
The moments of hesitation or pushing the other away add tension and invite a change of emotion from the partner, to be supportive or more aggressive. The drama of taking two steps forward and sliding back one builds excitement for the reader. Anticipation is a wonderful device.
As a reader, do you enjoy this gradual build up of intimacy in sex scenes more than wild abandon? As a writer, have you used this type of progression? If so, how does it work for you?

I’ll leave you with a wonderful example, a poem by E. E. Cummings—one of my favorites!

May I Feel Said He

may i feel said he
(i’ll squeal said she
just once said he)
it’s fun said she

(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let’s go said he
not too far said she
what’s too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don’t stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she

(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you’re divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)

—

Marsha A. Moore is a writer of fantasy romance. The magic of art and nature spark life into her fantasy stories. She enjoys watercolor painting and drawing. After a move from Toledo to Tampa in 2008, she’s happily transforming into a Floridian. Crazy about cycling, she usually passes the 1,000 mile mark yearly. She is learning kayaking and loving it. She’s also a yoga enthusiast and never has enough days spent at the beach, usually scribbling away at new stories with toes wiggling in the sand. Every day at the beach is magical!

Links to Marsha and her books:

Website
Blog
Twitter
Facebook
Goodreads

 

Guest Blog: Myths and Legends by J.S. Wayne

By Elisabeth Guest Blogs June 19, 2011 8 comments

Note from Elisabeth: Many thanks to J.S. for guest blogging today, and for sharing his experiences as a man who writes erotic romance.

Myths and Legends: The Romantic Writer

First I’d like to thank our gracious and lovely hostess for having me here today! It’s always a privilege to be invited to someone else’s house; I’ll try very hard not to track mud all over your carpets.

The biggest question that people ask upon learning I’m a guy who writes erotic romance is, “Are you gay?” As my wife will attest, the answer is no. This invariably leads to another question: “What the hell possessed you to write romance stories?”

I’m a romantic at heart. Nothing brings me greater joy than watching a new love blossom. Nothing causes me more despair than seeing a once-promising relationship falter, wither, and die.

Throughout most of my life, I’ve pursued romantic love, with mixed results until I finally met my wife. I have been blessed to witness dizzying highs and cursed to weather devastating lows. The sweet thrill of the first time another person looks at you longingly and says “I love you” is a balm for a multitude of hurts. But the destructive potential of a lover looking at you with loathing and saying “I never want to see you again” is a lethally sharp cutting instrument for the soul.

Having seen all of this, it’s not surprising that for a long time, I was very cynical about love. One of my friends, in a rhapsody of romantic bliss, informed me that he was going to get married. As I’d just suffered a very nasty breakup which was an emotional bloodbath on both sides, my advice was for my friend to lock himself in a dark room and lay down until the feeling passed.

Unsurprisingly, I was not invited to be in the wedding party. Shockingly, I was still invited to the wedding. As this was several months after the breakup in question, I arrived with a date on my arm. We were promptly relegated to the farthest corner of the room with all the maiden aunts and other relatives and friends whom it would have been impolitic not to invite but whose presence could have been taken or left.

This could have been disastrous, but I elected to turn it into an opportunity. When my chance to dance with the bride arrived, I took it and, while awkwardly shuffling with her around the floor, apologized fervently for my previous behavior. I explained why I had said what I said and told her that I wished them both all the happiness they could possibly cultivate. Then I took my leave of her and went back to the table, only to be confronted by my friend. When I explained what I’d said, he got a very odd look on his face.

“I almost didn’t invite you,” he informed me. “I knew how you felt about this.”

“That was me looking at it through my own lens, not yours. And it was my mistake,” I explained.

The rift was healed, and I’m pleased to report that the couple now have two children and there’s a chance they might be expecting a third. I couldn’t be happier for them. And the experience renewed my faith and belief in love.

What that has to do with writing romance is this: I love recapturing that feeling of the first kiss. The moment when a person’s heart leaps within their chest and they suddenly dare to contemplate the idea that they might actually be able to consider being with another person. Not just for a night, or to “scratch an itch,” but forever.

I have learned that there are more ways to write erotic romance than there are writers to do it. The commonality is that ultimately, two (or more) people will find love eventually, no matter what hell the writer puts them through for them to get there. If there’s a way to make it hot for the reader, then so much the better. But the erotic element serves the romance, rather than the other way around., That’s why it’s erotic romance and not romantic erotica.

Romance isn’t the only thing I claim on my list. Urban fantasy and supernatural horror are also there right now, and I have no doubt that as time passes, I will branch out even more. For now, though, romance seems like a pretty good place to be.

A guy I work with asked me a few weeks ago, “So, I hear you’ve got a bunch of stories published.”

I confirmed this, more or less, by saying, “I’ve got a few things out there.”

“Yeah? What do you write?”

“Erotic romance?”

He looked at me like I’d grown two more heads in five seconds. After a few silent moments in which his mouth worked rather comically, he sputtered, “But you’re married. Don’t you have to be gay to write romance if you’re a guy?”

This particular individual fancies himself as a ladies’ man. He’s not, but it’s not my place to disillusion him. After weighing the relative merits of several responses, I smiled at him and said, “Check out my Facebook. You’ll notice that almost all my friends are women.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” He muttered, confused.

I laughed. “I’ve never been more popular with women.” This seemed to end the conversation, as he was unable to mount a comeback, and we drifted back to our respective tasks.

So, the biggest myth I want to dispel is that anyone can write erotic romance. If you can write well to begin with, why not? Write what you know. Write what you believe in.

Write what you want for yourself. By writing it, you may actually help create it!

Thank you all for letting me bend your ear, and thank you again, Elisabeth, for having me. It’s been a lot of fun!

Until next time,

Best,

J.S. Wayne

J.S. Wayne can be found in a lot of places, but the best and easiest to find him are:

www.jswayne.wordpress.com

www.wix.com/jswaynesite/herebemonsters

www.nobleauthors.blogspot.com

Guest Blog: The “Unwilling Man” in Erotic Romance

By Elisabeth Guest BlogsParanormal Romance March 7, 2011 9 comments

Note from Elisabeth: This is a controversial topic, and one that I don’t see discussed very often. As a writer and also as a survivor of sexual assault, I find the subject fascinating – thanks so much to Laura for guest blogging and sharing her opinions today.

The “Unwilling Man” in Erotic Romance

By Laura Kaye

http://laurakayeauthor.blogspot.com

What’s more erotic than a battle of wills between two characters whose every interaction drips with sexual tension?  I love a dynamic wherein characters are sexually attracted to one another despite strong animosities or real good common sense reasons to stay the hell away.  I devour pages for the moment when such a couple gives into those basic, primal urges in utter disregard of all the reasons why their having sex is just a bad idea.  The giving in is always so carnally delicious…

But what makes that moment so delicious, what makes me cheer and groan in satisfied fulfillment, is that they desire the sex—in whatever form it occurs—and give in to that desire.

That seems to me to be altogether different from what I’ve seen in some recent works in progress and published stories, both m/f and m/m.  What I’m talking about is what I’ll call the “Unwilling Man” phenomenon.

The story often goes something like this:  Powerful alpha male warrior is captured by rival tribe/alien race/immortal enemies.  As a captive, he becomes a sexual slave or concubine.  Said slave needs to be trained or prepped to fulfill his new function.  The proud warrior/slave fights and resists, warranting humiliating punishments.  Then, a new trainer takes over and wears him down with an erotic array of sexual acts, words, threats, punishments, perhaps even favors, until he “gives in,” often developing affection or even love for that person in return.

I understand others might not agree, but I consider this type of characterization to be the definition of non-consensual.  For me, the non-consensual elements include:

1)      His status as a captive and a slave clearly deprive him of the full ability to non-consent and to enforce his non-consent

2)      His resistance constitutes an expression of non-consent, even if it isn’t verbalized

3)      The use of humiliation, punishment, favors, or other means of cajoling or forcing acquiescence prevent that acquiescence from equaling consent

4)      The captive having an erection is not evidence of consent; fear is also a powerful stimulant

5)      The possible outcome of the captive orgasming is also not evidence of consent or desire for the sex act to have occurred, nor does it prove the person enjoyed the act.

Nonetheless, these stories often receive a positive response.  Bringing the big strong alpha male to his knees has a certain appeal.  The idea of having our way with him does too.  Flipping it around, with a male aggressor and a female “victim,” rape fantasies or “make-‘em-like-it” fantasies are common—the journal Psychology Today released a study in May of 2008 indicating 37-51% of women have rape fantasies—a likely lowball figure.  But these fantasies are usually imagined within an existing relationship, where some expectation of safety exists within the fantasy, or with a stranger who helps the woman act out “wanton” behavior or indulge in repressed desires, making her sexuality “okay” because someone “forced” her to do it.

But if we go back to our newly enslaved alpha male, that’s not the framework being used with the Unwilling Male.  The Unwilling Male is not playing hard to get and not in an established relationship—and any relationship formed while the man is unfree hardly counts as safe.

An Ellora’s Cave story I read not too long ago had a different non-consensual set-up.  It was a m/m “gay for you” construct within the science fiction romance genre.  The two male characters had enormous sexual chemistry, despite the fact that one struggled with the realization that he had, for the first time in his life, sexual desire for another man.  His slow process of giving in was erotic as hell.  But then the author jumped the gun, as it were, and created a situation where the outwardly gay character (OGC) “had” to have sex with the GFY character in order to survive a crisis moment within the scifi worldbuilding (I realize this is probably making you scratch your head, but I hesitate to call out a specific author with clarifying details… Wuss?  Maybe. 😉 ).  The GFY character was telling OGC not to do it, that he didn’t want it like this or in this way, and then, in protest, the GFY character demanded—if OGC was going to do it against his will, GFY didn’t want him to use lubrication.  So, he didn’t.  And, of course, it hurt like hell, because, as well all know, our bodies don’t produce any natural lubrication back there.  [NOTE: Every time a romance author writes an anal sex scene without lubrication, a kitten dies.  Jus’ sayin’.] Now, at least the author gave the GFY character the dignity of breaking off the relationship and ending their former friendship…for a while.  Because, of course, they reconcile and live happily ever after in the end.

Um.

For me, some of these premises border on rape as titillation.  And leave me wondering, how would we react if the “victim” was female?  If it was a female who was turned into a submissive against her will?  If it was a female who was captured and torn away from everything she’d ever know, and then “trained” to be a sexual slave?  If it was a female who had to be fucked against her will to save the universe?  If it was a female whose family had sold her to someone to use as they pleased?  These are all premises I’ve seen in recent months—as contest entries I’ve judged, works in progress authors have blogged about, or published books I’ve read.

Often, when I read or hear of these stories, I can’t help thinking of one of my all-time favorite alpha male warrior characters:  Zsadist, from J.R. Ward’s Lover Awakened (Signet, 2006, Book 3 in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series).  ZOMG.  Total, epic, don’t-you-even-think-of-wanting-him-for-yourself LOVE for Zsadist, the bad-ass vampire warrior literally and emotionally scarred from a century of being imprisoned as a sex slave to a female vampire and being forced to sate her sexual and nutritional needs with his body.  He hates that his body reacted to her against his will (often, literally—they used a herbal salve on the skin of his penis to force him to become erect).  He grew to hate “the thing” / “the it” between his legs.  He bears the humiliation of the thick tattooed slave bands on his neck and wrists.  Once freed by his brother, he is totally dysfunctional in almost every relationship in his life, but especially with women, whom he can only fuck from behind so he can be in control, dominant, and not have to see them.  He’s plagued by nightmares, sleeplessness, severe weight loss, and considered sociopathic even by those who love him.  The story of how he finally gives in and falls in love is thus incredibly compelling and sweet because he finally gets to choose.  To me, it’s all the difference in the world.

Clearly, because rape fantasies exist, the line is not as hard and fast in fiction as it might be in the courts (of course, even there it’s not as black and white as you’d think it would be).  But, at the least, authors writing on the edge of consent should make an effort to get other eyes on their work before considering it ready for public consumption.

How do others weigh in on this? Am I in the ballpark or totally being too sensitive?

It’s Gone from Suck to Blow!

By Elisabeth Guest Blogs February 18, 2011 0 comments

Okaaay, I am sort of burning the candle at both ends lately (I know – those of you who know me well are snickering: “Sort of?” “Lately?”). SO I guess I should say, worse than usual. Look, I’m a stress junkie, okay? I’m working to temper it, to make peace with it, but like an addiction, it may always be with me and it’s far more socially acceptable than passing out on my front lawn with a jug of Vanilla Mint Listerine nestled in the crook of my arm. But the gist is that I am feeling a little inside-out and upside-down today, hence this morning’s blog title. Sorry guys, I am not very lucid at the moment. Moving on… Beautiful Blue is finished!! I want to say how blown away I am by the response I got from this little experiment, so thanks to all of you who followed along. I wrote this story in a very different way than I usually work, and I was nervous that it would turn out to be a miserable failure, but I’m getting lots of great feedback from my Facebook and Twitter followers, and I have even been asked if I will repackage and sell it as a novella (maybe/probably) and if there will be a sequel/prequel (as soon as I have time to write one – those of you who are willing to provide free babysitting so that I may augment my writing hours, please leave a comment and references below). I was especially psyched one morning recently to stumble upon a blog by Mina Burrows (just for the record we are not related, and I didn’t bribe her in any way) who had written up a WONDERFUL review of Blue and also mentions King of Darkness, which I used to have an excerpt of posted on my main web site. I am finishing up work on King of Darkness this weekend!! Donations of caffeine are appreciated, btw. 😉 The manuscript has been shelved for the past few weeks in an effort to get a little perspective (meanwhile, working on the sequel, Prince of Power) but as I near my deadline I am shaking out the pages and knuckling down to work this baby over one more time. I have an AWESOME new critique buddy who has been wonderful and patient enough to slap me around and hold my feet to the fire, so that KofD can be at its best by the time I send it to my editor. Damon, by the way, is a terribly talented writer of gay romance and has a book coming out soon with Dreamspinner Press about love and the New York Fire Department (Hot in more ways than one! Come on, I had to say that…) and I encourage you to check him out. Happy Friday, folks!!